Gisèle Pelicot has been called many things: A victim. A survivor. An icon. He calls himself an ‘optimist’
WARNING: This article contains details of intimate partner violence and sexual abuse
Sunday Magazine35:22The victim. A survivor. An icon. Gisèle Pelicott heard it all. But his words? ‘Optimist’
Gisele Pelicot understands that those who followed her ex-husband’s trial in September 2024, when he was found guilty of drugging her, raping her and inviting other men to do the same while she was unconscious, may see her through that lens.
He is called a victim. A survivor. An icon of femininity.
But, despite “all the difficult chapters” as he puts it, what he calls “optimism.”
In 73 years, she has not lost faith in men, love or the chance to find peace, she said in a special talk on Canadian broadcast no. Sunday Magazine hosted by Piya Chattopadhyay.
“I’ve always believed in happiness,” he said in an interview translated from French to English. “And that is important in my mind, because if there is no love, I don’t see why we would be here on Earth.”
His memorial
It is an echo of what he wrote in his book, Hymn of Life: Shame must change sides, which will be released on Tuesday.
“I know that my story has furthered the disgust of men, but that doesn’t happen to me,” she wrote. “I still have faith in people. It was once my greatest weakness, now my strength, my revenge.”
About six years ago, Pelicot’s life improved when police in southeastern France showed him some of the photos Dominique Pelicot had kept to document the attacks on him and at least 50 men since 2011, according to testimony in the trial.
Police were able to identify the other men from approximately 20,000 files of photo and video evidence; 50 have been convicted of complicity in sexual assault after being recruited online by Dominique Pelicot to beat his wife when she was unable to consent.
He was sentenced to 20 years in prison – the maximum under French law; other men received sentences ranging from three to 15 years.
Gisèle Pelicot is the victim of the most famous rape trial in French history. Now, for the first time, she’s opening up about it all in her memoir A Hymn To Life, telling CBC’s Piya Chattopadhyay about ‘falling into hell’ and building herself back up.
Fans around the world rallied for Pelicot after he waived his right to remain anonymous in the case.
Pictures of my mother and grandmotherone outside the court in Avignon, France, each day emphasized his quiet strength and dignity as he repeatedly rejected the narrative thatthe victims bear the shame of their perpetrators’ crimes.
“On the street, women say to me: ‘You are an icon.’ I would like toI say that I am like a symbol or a milestone in the lives of these women, because the trial really gave them a voice,” she said in an interview. “But in reality, I am an ordinary woman who refuses to have the case closed to the public.”
Her book, she says, is a way to carry on that legacy, rebuild her life and help her piece together her memories of fifty years of marriage and family life and what followed.
His trauma, he says, was heightened by a sense of mental disorder; fainting during an attack of epilepsy in the interruption of her vision of the truth and what her husband had done.
“He was a sweet, kind, shy man; a good father, a good grandfather,” she said, noting that he had never been intentionally violent until he came into contact with the police — something that made the revelation even harder for him to process.
“When I found out what he did to me, it was like a bomb went off in my life,” she said. “But I wanted to find out that he wasn’t a monster all his life. Well, ‘monster’ – I don’t like that word. It’s a terrible act. He’s still human, despite what he did.”
Disintegration of the family
As the investigation continued and the trial began, Pelicot says her family fell apart, talking about herself and her three older children. She filed for divorce while Dominique Pelicot was awaiting trial, saying she would no longer be able to contact him.
Two photos of her daughter, Caroline Darian, found on Dominique Pelicot’s computer show her in her bedroom in her underwear, appearing to be asleep or unconscious.
The explosive rape case of Dominique Pelicot and 50 other men in Avignon, France, may have come to an end on December 19, but for his daughter, Caroline Darian, the story was not over. In an interview with Piya Chattopadhyay of The Sunday Magazine, Darian explains how his family is dealing with the consequences. He also says he is proud of his mother who is now considered a feminist.
Although he was convicted of sharing photos of his daughter without her consent, Darian believes the abuse went too far and has filed charges against her father. (He denied the allegations there Darian suesd to him in court during his trial for the charges against his mother.)
Pelicot says she is furious on her daughter’s behalf and hopes she gets the answers she wants.
“Today, each of us is trying to heal as best we can, but we all felt differently and had different types of suffering,” she said. “I mean, for the kids, this was their dad … and everything crashed.”
They all coped differently, he says, noting that it helped him hold on to family photos documenting moments when they all seemed happy.
“You can’t go back and live your life,” she said. “I had to believe that those 50 years weren’t a lie to keep me alive… Everyone has to find their own strategy to deal with these memories.”
In an exclusive interview broadcast in Canada, the 73-year-old told Piya Chattopadhyay, host of CBC Radio’s The Sunday Magazine, about his decision to choose happiness despite everything he’s been through.
Finding new love
In writing her book, Pelicot says she accepted that she may never fully understand her husband’s motives or connect the different parts of his life. But in examining the various pieces, she says she was left with a “message of hope” and the belief that she – and other women – can rebuild.
Part of that means allowing himself to hope in love again, even though he says it was something he didn’t expect to find.
Still, he did it. His colleague supported him during the trial and continues to do so.
“I don’t look back, I look forward. I allow myself to be happy today,” she said. “I will always be there to help women, if they need me, to give them strength, to encourage them to go all the way if they want to sue… But I also wish to live a peaceful life and take advantage of the years I have left.”
If you are in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911. For support in your area, you can check crisis lines and local services by using Completes the database of the Canadian Sexual Violence Association. .
