There are certain moments that tech nerds never forget. As Steve Jobs presented the first iPhone with a live demo of its intense screen “Multi-touch” or that time that jobs took the first breath of the macbook from the envelope of Manila. Okay, even if, we, we mostly remember the shit that Steve Jobs said and did, but still, we remember all the same.
And but those are the times, they’re just like that, I don’t know, it’s obvious. So Parliament! That’s why I’m creating new tech moments in my head that’s so big and buzzing that I’ll remember the time and day I saw them. Times like when I learned that smart candles are a technological phenomenon. That’s right: Smart Candles. Welcome to the F*CKING future.
For this major breakthrough in the world of gadgets, we have a Chinese company called Switchbot (the same company that makes the cuddly kata robot) to thank. Switchbot recently announced a warm candle. Candle warm lamps, for those pagans who still light candles with a game like some kind of Neanderthal many, is a type of lamp that warms your scent instead of using a burning wick. The Curniftbot Candler Limpler LAMP does the same thing, but its own Smart. That means the same thing it always means in this day and age, which is to be connected to the Internet.
Curingbot’s Candler Limpler Lamp is enabled (meaning it works the same across all your major home platforms, including Google Home and Alexa) and comes with convenient parameters like lighting scents and lighting levels from your phone. Yes, you can use your phone to make your candle smell (or drink a little). Sure, you can do the same thing with a candle heater that is not connected to the Internet, but do you go into the lamp and move the slider with your hands? Yuck, do you have time for that? I am a man of analysis. In fact, in fact, to the point where I’m crying over my ancient Google Smart speaker to turn my warm candles so they can accidentally turn off my lights instead.
In case you were wondering, the switchbot Candi’s Candle Limpler Lamp supports different sizes of candles, although there is a maximum of 9.5cm in diameter and 14cm in height. You can also change the brightness level, which is great if you’re trying to set the mood with, y’know, a candle. Oh, and you can set schedules to turn the light off or off at certain hours, perfect for Candle O’Clock when everyone traditionally burns candles and prays to the wax god.
If you are ready to leave the stone age of burning candles with fire, you can buy the Switchbot Candle Warmer Lamp for $ 39, which is very cheap, but cheap when you consider the fact that you will be able to participate in candle heating – sharp Ass Candle dynamic candles. I can’t say for sure, but I think Steve Jobs would agree.
